The Niff and I are huge fans of the New Hampshire Fair scene (if there is such a thing...). We looked forward to taking in the Hopkington Fair a couple weekends back. We opted to hit it on a Friday right after work so we could avoid the weekend rush. Smart move by us fo' sho'!
Rule # 1 when going to the Fair: take note of where you park. Always do this. Hell, take a picture of where you parked with your cellphone if you have to. Hopkington has multiple lots to park in and they aren't even remotely close to each other. If you go to the Deerfield Fair and lose your care, good fucking luck. The massive lot there is like 100 square miles.
Rule # 2: always bring a sweatshirt and a camera, especially if you are staying into the night. It always gets cold, and you'll be miserable if you at least don't have the option handy. You will need a camera to document the events, as well as the types of people you will surely run into. The fair is about the 2 F's: Food and Freaks. Yes, take note.
Rule # 3: quite possibly the most important rule of them all - bring plenty of cash for food. You don't want to get hit with a huge ass ATM fee and the cash will flow for sure if you are doing any normal amount of eating.
We wandered around a bit, not really having any one place in mind to go. It wasn't a huge fair, but just big enough to have plenty of things to look at and take in the sights.
Any place where you can see Alpacas that look like this guy is good in my book. It was kinda freaky because he stood there forever just staring at me.
The Niff and I have decided when we grow up and be big kids we're going to have a little house with some chickens and goats and alpacas. How could you not?? Look at the guy!!!
They are usually shy, but this one laying on the ground gave a little time to the Niff and was quite happy to be petted. He may not look too happy, but believe me, he is ;)
One of the most important things at the fair is getting good value for your buck at the food stands. There are about 10,000 booths for fries, some with cheese, some with vinegar, some with gravy. Some come in a dog bowl, some come on a giant plate. It's all about finding the right deal.
And of course, I got fucked. I was so excited to get some sausage and couldn't help but see a sign that screamed $3.00 for a sausage and a Coke. Before I knew it, I was at the counter getting my sausage that was a fraction of the size I thought it was going to be, as well as a Diet Coke in a small ass 2 oz. dentist Dixie Cup. I get back to the table where the Niff is sitting, and this dood sits down near us with exactly what I wanted! It was like 5 times the size of mine and the booth was about 10 feet from where we were sitting. Total ass.
One of the coolest things I've ever seen was this display of two moose that were "Forever Locked" (name of the exhibit) that were fighting and were stuck that way, only to die. Their carcasses were found by a hunter and it was preserved and they were stuffed to show people something that is simply amazing. Pretty cool shit.
There were little blurbs describing the action, how they were preserved, etc. One of the funnier signs we saw had us laughing forever and I had to snap a pic of it:
Oh really? Moose don't just cross at crossing signs? Holy shit! I thought they did! I'm glad I was made aware of this!!! I think the sign could save my life in the future! They shouldn't just leave this sort of life saving message on a display at a fair! They should post it on those yellow moose crossing signs too!!!
One of the biggest things I was looking forward to at the fair was the booth that will deep fry just about anything. Last year I had a Twinkie, and this year I was after the Double Stuffed Oreos. 6 for $5 is pretty damn pricey, but I had to have it. Had to have it.
This is what it looked like - a thing of beauty. I couldn't help but make love to it on sight. So glorious.
Oh yeah and this…God…just…God…
Look: I know kids take a lot of time to draw up really nice stuff for the 4H judging contest and stuff. Awesome.
But this couldn't help but remind me of Flack...I know it looks like a woman, I think that is why it reminded me of him even more.
This setup was pretty badass: haunted house that costs like $80, but the outside was pretty cool, along with this guy barfing into a barrel over and over again. Pretty sweet.
The fair was a lot of fun, but Deerfield is the best and that's coming soon. Can you dig it???
