Last night I had one of the most vivid Zombie Dreams ever.
As I’ve written here before, my dreams really affect me. It’s not like I can
see the future or anything insane like that, but they just almost live with me.
I had a dream I borrowed my father’s old van (van he used to
own 10 years ago) and we hit my grandparent’s house for the party we’re really
going to tomorrow. As we were leaving, the van wouldn’t turn over until we
popped the hood and got some help. We went home, which turned out to be my
dad’s house where I used to live before becoming an adult and moving out.
It was weird, because it was the house, but even bigger. I
heard on the news that Zombies were everywhere. I looked at my Uncle Pat and
asked him how much ammo he had, and between my dad and him we had some but not
a lot. Being a martial arts loving family, my dad and uncle have always had
various swords and medieval looking things hanging on the wall so I grabbed two
Samurai swords, Pat grabbed a broadsword, my dad grabbed a pair of kamas, and
Jackie grabbed these two ballsy looking swords that wrapped around his arms
like a coiled snake and we were ready.
I stepped onto the porch as I saw about 10 of them come out
of the woods. We all waited for them, with all the women upstairs hiding in the
closet in the master bedroom. As soon as one of them stepped onto the deck I
flipped the fuck out and started spinning my swords like I was some sort of
weapons master, turning into a high speed Ginsu blender. I really got into it,
as I took out 8 of them while they took out the remaining two.
After that, I woke up. Sadly, it was time to go to work, and
I couldn’t learn more about the impending Zombie invasion, but heed this
advice: guns are great, but blades don’t need reloading. I think it’s time to
hit the crazy man booth at the local Flea Market this weekend to stock up on
supplies.
You think I’m joking.
